Logan Randolph’s Commencement Speech

A week or so after graduation, we may or may not remember what was said in the commencement speeches. Angelique Kidjo sung us a song (above), Diana Nyad told us about her fingernails, and fellow student Jenny Johnston told us to wander. The student speaker was decided by committee of students, faculty, and administrators from a group of almost twenty seniors that entered the competition and gave their speeches in the hopes of having the opportunity to speak before their class. Jenny Johnston was chosen and gave a magnificent speech.

But what about all the speeches that weren’t chosen? Surely they have some wisdom to impart despite their apparent inferiority to Jenny’s speech. Luckily, Logan Randolph recently published his speech on his personal blog (worth a gander) and was gracious enough to let me share it with you:

I Should Have Bought More Crap

President Liebowitz. . . Faculty . . . Families . . . and of course classmates.  I’m honored to be here. I do feel a bit funny speaking to you today. I haven’t fought as many jellyfish as Diana Nyad. And unlike our resident geographer president Liebowitz, I can’t point out Tajikistan on a map, nor pronounce it correctly. In short, I’m no older than you, so I hardly feel qualified to offer towering insights or advice.

Instead, I thought I’d share two stories. Both are about regrets.

First story. My father reads the New Yorker every week. And Years ago, he cut out a cartoon and framed it. It’s been sitting on his desk for as long as I can remember. It’s a picture of an old man lying in the hospital looking out a window. He’s in a small room that is sparsely decorated, like a jail cell or a Battel double. His family is gathered around him. His daughter is crying. And his son is holding his hand. A small table, holds cards and flowers. He is on his deathbed.

Excuse me – I should say, “it appears the man is on his death bed.” Maybe this man just likes flowers and holding other men’s hands. If there is one thing I’ve learned at Midd, it’s not to be so hetero-normative. But, for the sake of the cartoon, let’s say the man is on his deathbed.

He’s speaking. Presumably his last words. His family is leaning in to listen. And in little more than a whisper, he says:

“I should have bought more crap.” Continue reading

The Year in Sports

Here at Middbeat, we endeavor to give you an extensive knowledge of everything that goes on here at Middlebury, which is, as the great William Shakespeare wrote, “the greatest college in the history of history.” This includes athletics, an area that has received somewhat less of Middbeat’s attention.  But no longer! An avid sports fan myself, I have joined the team to help bring you everything you need to know about Midd athletics. To catch you up on the thriving Middlebury sports scene, here’s a review of the top three highlights of each season:



Julia Favorito, NESCAC Player of the Year

1: Women’s Soccer- I wasn’t here to see the fall sports season first hand, as I was busy getting food poisoning and trying to assuage my white privilege in Cameroon, West Africa. But, despite my absence, the fall sports season was very successful for Middlebury. The women’s soccer team grabbed the NESCAC title, and carried it with them all the way to the NCAA semifinals, where they lost in a nail biter to Trinity. The Panthers dominated the All-NESCAC team selections, holding 5 out of the 11 first team spots, with Julia Favorito ruling over them as Player of the Year.


McCallum Foote

McCallum Foote, Offensive Player of the Year

2: Football- From my extensive research and the incoherent shouts of parties at Atwater, I can tell you that the football team had a very successful year. They went 7-1, and took home the NESCAC championship for the first time since 2007. Quarterback McCallum Foote won Offensive Player of the Year honors, and was one of four players on the team who were named Academic All-Americans.

Catherine Fowler, Player of the Year

Catherine Fowler, Player of the Year

3: Field Hockey- The field hockey team continued a run of success that has spanned most of the last five years, claiming their second consecutive NESCAC title in a heart stopping overtime win over Bowdoin. They would take this momentum to the NESCAC quarterfinals, where they fell to Skidmore. But, rest assured, this won’t be the last time I write about the Middlebury field hockey program. They’re here to stay.

Adam Glaser, Rookie of the Year

Adam Glaser, Rookie of the Year and Crush List star

Honorable Mention: Adam Glaser- The men’s soccer team’s season was very good as well, ending in a loss to Williams in the NESCAC quarterfinals. However, the standout highlight of the season was freshman Adam Glaser, who took home Rookie of the Year honors AND first team All-Conference, a very impressive achievement. Four more years of Glaser is definitely something to be excited about. You can also see Glaser’s name on several Crush Lists in Procter, as if being great at soccer wasn’t enough.

Continue reading

Jazz Quintet’s Last Gig (And Pub Crawl)


The ’14 jazz quintet (usually known as [insert member name] and Friends) was formed in the fall of 2010 and has performed innumerable times in 51 Main and other events on campus. This is their last gig before they all spread around the globe. Don’t miss it. The band includes Taylor Bickford, Felix Klos, Brian Parker, Adam Schreiber, and Yuki Takeda.

Date: Tuesday, May 20
Time: 9-11 PM
Place: 51 Main

Their performance tonight is part of the Senior Week Pub Crawl.  Click to see the full schedule for tonight’s event.   Continue reading

Five Seniors Graduating

Middlebury is full of interesting individuals that have to leave after four years of rigorous study and even more rigorous play. Here are five super neat seniors that answered some basic questions about their experiences at Middlebury. Here’s some excerpts from the interviews:

Kyle Finck: Making progress on his latest documentary, “Straight Out of Rutvegas,” which seeks to chronicle people carrying on a straight-edge lifestyle in Rutland, VT, despite the current heroin epidemic. 

Kwaku Acheampong: His membership in an a cappella group Stuck in the Middle alerted him to the notion that upperclassmen were cool, accessible folks. 

Jenny Johnston: She hasn’t gone streaking yet.

Ted Netland: This past semester Netland and his friends Hank Lipton and Norm Farquhar realized they had the makings of a band and decided to go jam. The three went to Bevco, brought approximately 20 beers into the studio, and played until the wee hours of the morning – “until we bled… I woke up the next day with blisters all over my hands,” he said. 

Alex Jackman: While Jackman has been here she’s seen the development of what people call the “M-pire.” Middlebury has become a brand. It’s becoming more of a corporation.

Read on for the full interviews and pictures… Continue reading

TONIGHT: Imperial Norm Troopers in ACB


The Troopers at WOMP

The Troopers at WOMP

Finish your work and come get down with The Imperial Norm Troopers featuring Norm Farquhar, Ted Netland, Evan Hecht, and Henri Lipton. Hosted by Atwater Suite ACB (the the one on the left, last door, first floor if you somehow still haven’t figured out how Atwater works). Word on the street is Jack Gaffney will be making balloon animals. Noise complaints should be directed to Norm.

Date: Saturday, May 17
Time: 10-11 (followed by general merriment)
Place: Atwater ACB


TONIGHT: “In the Name of Color” Dance Party


Mzwakithi Prestige Shongwe ’16 writes in:

This Saturday from 11pm to 1am in Crossroads, PrestiDJ (experimental DJ name) will be playing music from the US Westcoast’s Compton, Nigeria’s Lagos all the way to Tokyo in a festive party event that celebrates diversity and good party music. If you’re tired of party-hopping in the rain, come and party your heart out on the dancefloor. Y’all know this will be a good one.

Date: Saturday, May 17
Time: 11:00 PM – 1:15 AM
Place: Crossroads

A Public Letter: To the Drunk Bro Who Pissed on My Lawn Last Night

Here’s a letter from Ben Savard we were asked to publish about him confronting someone pissing outside his window last night:

To the Drunk Bro Who Pissed on My Lawn Last Night,

I hope this letter receives you well. As indicated by the address of this letter, you were pretty drunk when we met, so I’m not sure you remember me. Let me recount for you the circumstances under which we became acquainted:

At about 2 am last night, I was sitting in one of the first floor rooms in Weybridge House studying for a geology final when I heard you and friend walk down Weybridge St. It was a warm night, so the window was open and your boisterous, slurred speech carried well into the room. Given that it’s pretty late into finals week, it seemed natural that you (and many other students) were spending Thursday night drinking and celebrating what I hope has been a successful semester. It didn’t bother me that you and your friend were having a good time as you walked past.

However, it piqued my curiosity when I heard you stop walking and continue your conversation immediately outside the window. And I will admit, I found it rather disrespectful to look up from my computer and see you: legs spread, dick in hand, leaning back confidently as you urinated on a tree. So disrespectful in fact, that I stuck my head out the window and yelled “ARE YOU PISSING ON MY LAWN?”
“Uhh, yeah!” You told me, shaking off the last drops and zipping up.
“Where do you live?”
“So you live 300 yards away, but you decided to piss on my lawn instead?”
Candid and terse as ever, you replied “…Yeah.”

This is where you decided to take our conversation in a new direction. Despite the fact that you could have left at any second, you felt enough guilt on some level to offer reparations.
“What if I give you 20 bucks? Is that what you want?” Continue reading

Before you leave, be sure to check out beyond the green


New cover art by Tamir Williams ’16

The new(ish) blog beyond the green ”seeks to provide space for voices that are not being heard on our campus.” If you haven’t seen the blog, check it out, read every post, submit your own, and see some coverage in The Campus.

Here’s a word from an anonymous someone involved with BTGthere are some great new posts up on beyond the green. be sure to check out our site before you leave campus – and throughout the summer! btg will continue to operate over the summer, accepting and posting submissions (though possibly more slowly). see the site for more ways to get involved and “like” us on Facebook.