Welcome to Middlebury College where, at any given time, there will be approximately ten times more Lulu Lemon Inspire Crop II pants in the gym than functioning treadmills. I’m not looking for an Equinox, but the fitness center has been left out of the highly publicized upgrades to the athletic center. Major, multi-million dollar upgrades occur while the most used facility receives no attention.
Unless you are an impossibly fit Brooker resident who frequents the rock climbing wall and ice climbs your way to physical perfection, or you are comfortable running outside in the midst of our never-ending winter, then the fitness center is your only option. For starters, that place is so hot and stuffy that the freezing temperatures outside become a welcome escape. The only time I am comfortable with no air is when it’s the 2007 hit song by Jordin Sparks featuring Chris Brown. If you’re like me, and refuse to settle for those moonwalk machines behind the treadmills or the demoralizing seated bike, your gym options are slim. I find the Cybex treadmills on the left to be better for shock absorption, but only if they don’t physically shock you already (an electrical phenomenon that I recently discovered). I’d be more than happy to settle for a spinning bike if I could actually lock my feet within the footholds, four of which are currently in shreds. The movement from handwritten to typed and capitalized signs that read “OUT OF ORDER” currently on 3 treadmills suggests a permanence that makes me uneasy.